How to practice self-care as an exhausted mom. 10 amazing ideas for creating opportunities to take care of yourself.

Before I go any further, I’d like to remind you that you are worthy of love. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have time to yourself. You deserve to be free from depression, burnout and anxiety. You are a great mom, and you are doing the very best for your child (children). You deserve to be free from the lies of the enemy (Satan). Regardless of your achievements, you deserve to be proud of yourself. I mean, for starters, you are here today, right? This tells me that you desire to take care of your mental health. You are not being selfish for wanting self-care. Finally, that you are at least curious about Madjsworld and learning about coping mechanisms for surviving motherhood.

Did you know that,

• “1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England.
• 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week in England.
• Women are more likely to have suicidal thoughts and make suicide attempts than men. Over a quarter (26%) of young women aged between 16–24 years old report having a common mental health problem in any given week. This compares to 17% of adults. And this number has been going up” Information from Mind.org.uk

In this article, I am going to define what self-care really is. I will discuss the types of self-care. Then, I will give you, mom 10 guaranteed methods to achieve mental wellness through the art of self-care.

What is self-care?

From my research, I’ve found that there is a consensus on the definition of self-care. That is to say that, self-care is anything you practice consciously that preserves or improves your overall wellbeing. It pretty much means taking care of yourself. It is holistic in the sense that it takes care of your physical, mental and emotional balance.

The World Health Organisation, on their website, discuss how wellbeing and mental health are intrinsically linked: “Mental health is defined as a state of wellbeing in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”

Amanda Smith, a Therapist from BetterHelp online therapy says in her webinar “Self-Care 101. The Basics” that self-care is “Not a specific thing or activity it is on a spectrum. It can be lavish or simple. It can be a treat, it can also be a routine. It can be expensive or it can be free.”

Types of self-care

Since self-care is anything that you do that is healthy for yourself, it is a personal and evolving experience. My self-care in this season of my life will differ from another mom’s. What will benefit you today might not tomorrow and it’s perfectly alright. Remember, the focus is YOU and how well you are. As I mentioned above, it encompasses your health and wellbeing not just mental health. So, self-care can be focusing on your emotional health, your nutritional health, your financial health, your social health, your physical health and so forth.

So, in your quest to boost your self-care as a mom, think about the areas you would like to improve. But remember you are not in competition with anyone, you should do what works best for YOU. Make incorporating self-care into your routine realistic and fun for YOU.

Click here to watch my interview:

What does self-care mean to me?

What have you done in the past that has really worked for you? Maybe you can go back to it, chances are it will bring you the same level of calm, relaxation, and rejuvenation it once did. A friend of mine recently told me she used to draw to relax her. To me the idea of drawing gives me shivers but it is clearly something she enjoyed and would still be beneficial to her emotional health. So, I advised her to pick it up again and I hope she does.

Sometimes selfcare is something you need to do. For instance, managing your finances. Why don’t you sit down and write a budget (there are lots of budgeting tools out there, click here for one of them) or speak to a financial planner. This will help you achieve financial health. Also, self-care can be something you do as part of your daily routine. Like ironing clothes. It may not feel nice while you are doing it but when it is done and your children’s closet is all ironed and organized you feel good and fuzzy inside.

10 self-care ideas for moms

Here are 10 self-care activities for moms to achieve mental wellness.

1. Ask for help. That’s what family and friends are for. Ask your husband to watch the kids so you can take an hour nap or let a friend come over and help cook. You can return the favour later.
2. Be creative. Find small moments during the day or week when the little ones are napping, busy having lunch or playing outside (if they are older so they won’t need your supervision) to wash your hair or read a few chapters of a book with your favourite coffee.
3. Trade with a friend. You could arrange with a friend to swap kids on certain days so that you each get a turn to have me time. For example, this Friday she brings her son to play with your boys for 4 hours so she can go shopping. Then the following Friday, you take your boys to hers for a few hours so you can go get your nails done.
4. Go virtual. We’ve come leaps and bounds with the internet and particularly since the covid19 pandemic, we’ve all gotten used to doing things online. Lots of organizations offer activities virtually. You can do an exercise class, cooking class or even therapy without leaving your house.
5. Morning self-care routine – find something that works for you.
6. Journaling – gratitude or regular. Assessing your emotions…
7. Take walks
8. Christian meditation
9. Take a day or week off social media. Keeping up to date with news and trends can wait. You’ll be surprised how much headspace you will gain back from not being constantly glued to your phone, swiping, admiring and envying other people’s made-up lives. I’m telling you mom, every month take two days (let’s start small) off and replace that time with any of these 10 awesome self-care activities I’m sharing with you.
10. Therapy. I personally don’t have a lot of experience with formal therapy as I have only recently begun but I know from accounts from others it really helps to speak to someone who is not going to judge you. In the UK, we have, thankfully lots of resources. You can contact the NHS (talk to your GP), a Mental health charity (like Mind), a therapist at your place of work or study, a private therapist or online therapy (like BetterHelp)

I hope this was helpful. Let me know if it was in the comments and which of these activities you will be trying.