Feeling left out as a stay-at-home mom? Uncover the top 5 causes of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and learn effective strategies to overcome it

The quest to have it all

Being a stay-at-home mom is exhausting. There is no other way to say this. It is not only physically taxing but it also takes a toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing. It doesn’t matter how strong of a woman you are, motherhood will shake you one way or the other.

One of the main motherhood challenges of a stay-at-home parent is not being able to participate in all the fun things happening outside of your home. Your children, husband, and home become your primary focus, leading you to fall behind in your career, lose friendships, and put your self-care in the back seat.

In this post, I’ll share the top 5 reasons why we experience mom FOMO (fear of missing out) as stay-at-home parents. Plus, the best tips that have helped me personally cope with this dreaded motherhood challenge.

The Truth about mom FOMO

Sometimes I wonder, is it possible to have it all? Spend enough quality time with the kids, smash it in your profession while remaining good-looking and fit, and have some time for myself. I wonder if we were meant to juggle it all and if we were, who has the secret recipe to do so?

If you’re already a stay-at-home mom, chances are, there are periods where you think about all the things you’ve given up to stay at home with the kids, wondering if it’s worth it.

But let’s stop for a second and think about the truth behind mom FOMO, what is it that you feel you’re missing out on, that makes you so anxious? Have you considered that, perhaps, being a full-time mom is your purpose, your life calling?

Let me tell you the truth. You are not missing out on anything. Accepting that will change your perspective and lead you to take pride and joy in your work. I know, you’re already thinking about the million things you feel you’re missing out on and getting very anxious and frustrated. So, let’s go over them together and I’ll show you why you’re truly not missing out on a single thing.

1. Motherhood & Career

When you first swap your 9-5 job for a 24/7 stay-at-home person it feels great. Finally, freedom to manage your own time, come and go as you please, see friends and have playdates with the kids. The ultimate dream!

I’ll admit it, I used to be in awe and envy of working moms because they were always put together. With nice outfits, painted nails, and gorgeous hair, to me, they seemed to have it all. The respect, the finest home, the husband, and the perfect little children, everything running in perfect harmony.

After being home for a few years, I started to feel embarrassed around friends, especially when we would talk and all the corporate jargon would be lost on me. I wondered, why I couldn’t juggle motherhood and a career if they were doing it and smashing it. I felt I was missing out.

With one or more degrees in hand, proud parents and family members expecting you to excel in your career and succeed, you announce, ‘I am going to be a stay-at-home mom!’. In our society, it’s acceptable to take some time off to be with your newborn, but as soon as you’re well enough you have to pick up your career where you left off.

The fear of thinking the longer you stay out of work, the more stale you become, is real! Because with all the technology, laws, and systems constantly changing and evolving, innovations can appear as quickly as monthly. And if you don’t keep up-to-date, you will fall behind and lose touch.

Madj’s Solution

I have a solution for you, depending on what your plans are. If you want to get back to your profession and climb the ladder, then think about this. What about all the new skills you have acquired as a stay-at-home mom? Multitasking, negotiation skills, budget and crisis management, problem-solving, and more.

You can easily include these highly valuable transferable skills in your CV tailored to your preferred field. And don’t forget to add other types of work you may have completed while caring for your children too, such as volunteering and freelance work.

With my useful free CV template, you can take the opportunity to shift and do something you’ve always wanted to do. Such as running a hair salon or even your own catering business. This is your chance to research and jump into it!

Another thing I would recommend is to stay in touch with your work circle and attend seminars whenever you can. In addition, look out for virtual events as they might be easier and more convenient to access.

Take courses on things you feel passionate about to stay up-to-date with innovations and have an education timeline. This will allow you to work towards a specific goal and have more relevant qualities to add to your CV.

You’ll be ready and confident. You’ll be on par with everyone. Actually, you’ll have a slight advantage because you now know how to seal deals and change a nappy at the same time. Just being silly. But yeah, you get what I mean.

2. Stay-at-Home Mom Schedule & Friendships

We make friends at multiple stages of our lives. Naturally, when we get married and have children our interests and priorities change. If your friends aren’t married or have children, and they’re still going out late at night, dating, and spending their money on travelling, you won’t have much in common anymore.

Trying to organise a simple coffee to catch up with your stay-at-home mom schedule seems close to impossible, and business preoccupations are not interesting to you. Instead, you’d rather read books on how to prepare meals for a fussy child or how to teach phonics to a 2-year-old.

3. Being A SAHM & Keeping Up With News and Trends

Being at home all day taking care of little ones can make your days feel repetitive. And this often leads to a sense of missing out on the latest news and trends. However, a simple Google search for ‘latest news’ or ‘latest [field/industry] trends’ can provide all the information you need. As I mentioned before, your priorities change!

4. Losing Financial Freedom As A Stay-at-Home Mom

You feel you are missing out on having some financial freedom because that’s what all the boss babes and life coaches out there will preach to you. But go get yours girl!

You have to have your own income and save for a rainy day. Depending totally on your husband is not the right way. That’s a tough one, I would admit. However, I’d like to believe that both of you come to an agreement that you will stay at home. Based on a detailed examination of your finances, and with his income being more than enough for the family to depend on.

After speaking to other moms, I found that having financial freedom in this context is related to pride and comparing ourselves to other women. We want to be able to show our financial contribution to the family and proudly say, ‘I’ve got my own. I don’t depend on my husband.’

Madj’s Solution

Mark 10:8 “and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh” The Bible tells us that when you enter a marriage covenant, you become one spiritual entity. Honestly, God doesn’t see his money or her money, you are one household, one family, one dream, one goal, one purpose. Of course, He sees your dedication as a mother.

I want to remind you that the value of your contribution to the family goes beyond monetary value. Plus, there are so many things you can do to generate an income as a stay-at-home mum to help curb that feeling you have of feeling tied to someone else. This YouTube video by Nakisha Wynn, a self-taught stay-at-home mom will give you plenty of ideas!

5. Missing Your Purpose In Life As A Home Mum

You believe that being a stay-at-home mom will stifle your attaining your purpose in life. What I always say to this is, but what if your purpose and first priority were your children?

God’s Solution

I’ll list some scriptures that I’d love for you to read and meditate on. Hopefully, this will change your perspective and ease your anxiety as a stay-at-home mom facing common motherhood challenges.

Titus 2:3-5 “Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behaviour, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

While it is not necessary to be a stay-at-home mom in order to invest in your home, we see the priority that God places on the home, and the woman’s involvement. Clearly, we shouldn’t neglect the home for the sake of outside employment.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 preaches the importance of constantly teaching our children. Of course, this applies to fathers and mothers equally. Staying at home with children would only give more opportunities to teach children God’s ways. Therefore, it is a positive investment you are making in your children’s lives.

Final Words

I hope this has been helpful and that you are now convinced that you are not missing out on anything. Come on mama turn that FOMO into JOMO (joy of missing out). Let me know in the comments if you’ve suffered from FOMO. What are some of the remedies you’ve found for it?